Exedor's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Howl]

You have done a very rude thing. :(

Don't submit unfinished things! Normally, I hate to see parts and bits of flashes and games come thru. They're parts, not finished items, and Newgrounds is for finished items.

What you have done is worse. This is cool. I want more. I want to know what happens. I want to see the end. I was impressed. THEN you stopped it WAY TOO SHORT. That's like making an awesome dinner and then taking it away with only one bite.

So not only did you err in that you submitted an unfinished item, but you also put thru a painfully small taste of what could be a grand finished product, but you'll also now be stuck with a forever unfinished bit on Newgrounds- because you'll submit the finished item as a separate item, not replace this one.

That's too bad. Really. :\

Vagabondage responds:

As I said this is a proof of concept rather than a full game. It's a short animation with buttons. I wish I had the capabilities of making a real game, but I am unskilled in the ways of AS3 - in fact, it gives me a migraine. This serves as a sort of proposal for someone out there to possibly help me out. If I can't find anyone, I'll take on the daunting task of coding it myself. However, I'm glad it has struck interest in you and other viewers and I'll use the critiques here to create something much better and longer than what is shown.

Thanks for the feedback. :)

[The Thing About Amie Is]

It's brokded. :\

The preloader starts it, but the preloader remains. I saw your other one so I knew what to expect.

Anyway, you want advice? Here's the best advice I can give:

Just keep practicing flash and watching more stuff here on Newgrounds. And DON'T try to submit things in the meantime. If you try to rush it, you'll submit crap. If you try to submit things without ideas, you'll either fill your account with blams or with crap. Then when you get an idea that may be decent, people will see your account has lots of low scoring bits and pieces, and they'll think you don't care. Stay away from Sonic/Mario/Dragon Ball Z/Madness/hentai slideshow -type ideas for flashes. They're over used, over done, quick-fix ideas that will bring in low, but passing scores. They're easy points, but cheap points, and they'll bring the quality of your portfolio down.

So for now, watch and play stuff on Newgrounds. Don't stick to the Top 50 or the stuff that was just submitted. Search out things with scores above 3.50, and things on the pages that are further back than the main page. Take a run thru my favorites. There's good stuff there. Fill your mind with memories.

Eventually, one memory will build on another memory and you'll come up with an original story or idea. Also, listen to music. Not just rock or hip hop or metal or whatever you normally listen to, but mix it up a bit. Eventually, you might hear a song and an idea will pop into your head as you listen. Many songs tell stories that can be animated. Even songs with no words. Ever see the movie Fantasia? All music, no words, great stories.

That's how I came up with all my ideas. Unfortunately, I've been unable to get a copy of Flash so far, so my ideas are still stuck in my head instead of posted here on Newgrounds for you all to see.

When you get an idea, PUT MAJOR TIME INTO IT! If you can get it done in a day, you're not done. If it takes you a week, you're probably still not done. I've seen many good ideas that passed but have horribly low scores because they got an idea, belted out a quick animation, submitted it, and now they're stuck with a low score on a crappy flash that was originally a great idea and could've been awesome, but they ruined it by rushing. Taking extra time to take it from good to great will ALWAYS pay off. Not one person who has ever had something in the top 50 got it there by submitting something that wasn't 100% finished and was EXACTLY how they wanted it to be before they submitted it. If you see things that can be made better, make them better! Work on them until they're the best they can be.

yftachman responds:

fixed it.
i think.

and thanks for the comment, this wasn't supposed to be the best thing ever, its just a gift i did for my friend. i worked on it for about 2 weeks and it wasn't a hardcore work, just whenever i feel like doing it you know?

[Pilo]

It was ok... til level 3.

Then the 'wind' kicked in. It was ok but not overly fun til that point. After the 'wind' started, it just wasn't fun anymore.

norfor22 responds:

nmm..the wind is only in this level :o

[Moar Chocobreak!!!!!!!!!!]

I found a glitch.

There's Chocobreak in your game. Really.

Your game is good. The problem is not your game, but the fact that it's Chocobreak. Chocobreak is broken. Chocobreak is flawed. The physics are screwed up. When you hit the ball at an "up angle" it should bounce and continue going up, which is the correct direction. Chocobreak doesn't do that. About half the time, it sends the ball off in some unnatural direction. Often, it'll be heading up, hit the side wall and bounce right back down at you. It's always been that way.

It's not your fault. Your game was good. I played a few levels, but I still ran into the ball bouncing in unnatural directions many times, often causing me to lose the ball. Don't feel bad. It's not your fault, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Games Factory either doesn't know or doesn't care enough to make a correction update. GF has done more to put dookie games into the Portal than any other. Even the Kitty Crew and Clock Crew shoud be jealous.

What you did with the game was good, but Chocobreak is poo. I hate seeing that little spinning fat kid. Thanks to GamesFactory, I firmly believe that the brown on that kid's face is not chocolate.

:)

metroidfannumber1 responds:

its the last one i swear. by the way, did you get to the part where you get an upgrade and he shoots a large beam of energy out of his umbrella thing and destroys all the blocks in your path? im most proud about that upgrade.

[Vortex Wars]

This was fun!

This was a great game. It needs a place where there are more instructions before you start, as opposed to the ones that are in game. you're trying to read instructions and still finish your turn as the clock ticks down. Still good though. :)

Lopdo responds:

There is much more detailed How to play screen describing all modes. Have you checked it out? Thanks for review :)

[laser blade]

That music is awful!

The picture is cool, but it's just a picture. When I click, it sends me to Youtube, and that's the LAST place I want to be sent. Where's the story? Does it advance anytime, or is this just a moving picture and nothing else? Except a Youtube link.

oladitan responds:

This happens to be a single page project. I may update this. thank you for the comment.

[Cave Flying Witch]

You forgot.

You forgot the basic rule of submitting scores.

If you have a game that allows users to submit their score, you have to have:

1. A Main Menu screen that has a "Highscore" button so we can see that high score list, and...

2. An option at the Game Over screen that allows us to get back to the Main Menu and/or to see the high scores again.

kcnh responds:

Thank you for your review. :)

[mapper]

Well, it works now...

...so that's an improvement. It still has no point though. Here's what I suggest:

1. Add music. There's plenty in the Audio Portal. Not something fast; maybe an ambient loop.

2. Add score and a story. You're hunting treasure. Every time you click the green, a small treasure chest appears on screen. It opens and you get get 5, 10, 100 points or whatever, then it disappears so we can continue.

3. Add a purpose. Put in a timer and an end, so we're not clicking forever. The point of the game would be highest score within 60, 90, 120 seconds or whatever.

7snakes responds:

i like the ideas

[Normandy Survival]

It hasn't really changed...

It's not bad, and yet, it's too easy. You hold the space bar and the arrow and you're on your way. The enemies come in once every 3 seconds. The other day, I played til I got to 750. It took about 45 mins!! I put a weight on the space bar and a weight on the arrow and waited. And waited. And ate. And ate again. And waited. By the time I got the ending screen, the game was blammed.

It IS a good start, though. I don't want to discourage you from continuing to try and improve, and that's saying a lot. I usually try to discourage people who make bad things when I think they lack what it takes to improve. You, however, have something that's not bad, but it's not great yet either. You seem to have the deire to improve and to make something of yourself.

I wish I had Flash so I could make things and also offer you some helpful advice. But I don't, so I can't.

Keep trying to improve. None of the 'Greats' on Newgrounds got there immediately. All of them worked for it.

:)

austinplaneboy responds:

Well, guess what? I just updated my game! So now it's harder to play then before. Hopefully, you'll all consider this an improvement for the better of the game. If not, you can always write a review about it here, or you can personally PM me about it.