What you have is good. From what you have here, I can tell that once you start producing real animations, I know you'll be making some really great thing! Being new at flash is fine. We all start there. Go to my most recent news post for tips and tutorials that might be helpful, although, you're well on your way already.
With that being said, please don't submit tests to the Portal. If you want feedback and tips, that's fine, but this isn't the best place for this. The Portal is for finished items. The Forums are what you want. Load this into your Dumping Grounds. It's the third icon from the left at the very top of the page when you're signed in. It looks like a bucket with an arrow pointing down. Once it's loaded there, copy and paste the link into the Forums (Community>Forums). That way, people see it and give tips, which is what you want, but it's not in the Portal, filling your account with low scores or blams, which you don't want.
Good luck! :)