The flash portal is for animation.
The audio portal is for audio...stuff. And your's counts as audio stuff.
This is a slideshow that creeps along WAY to slow. It's boring. It's not animated.
Please submit stuff like this to the Audio Portal where it belongs. I don't know that it counts as music, but it counts as audio, so that's where it should be.
:)
Spell checker and grammar checker doesn't cut it.
The flash itself was incomplete and way too slow.
You may have the spelling corrected, but you still have massive grammar errors! Plus, the words may be spelled correctly, but they are the wrong words. The computer can check that the words are correctly spelled, but it cannot know if they are used correctly.
It concerns me that you do not have the ability to judge these things for yourself. I remember that when we were in grade school, we all thought, "we don't have to learn math, because we'll just use calculators!" But now, we all realize that it's much easier to go to the store and be able to figure out that five $5 items will be $25 without having to use a calculator.
Spelling and grammar are the same way. You will be judged by EVERYONE on how you use words and grammar. Friends may just laugh, but employers control your hiring and pay! Bad grammar keeps you from getting the better jobs.
I would suggest you try again to learn correct grammar. It's ok. People will not think poorly of you for trying to re-learn, or brush up on your skills, but they WILL think poorly of you if you know you need improvement, but do nothing about it. Find someone who has good writing, grammar, or speaking skills and ask them, "Hey, you're good at speaking and writing. Would you help me to be better with mine?" See? Easy. No harm, no foul, no shame in asking.
"excuse me ms.hino he will be all yours when i'm done taking his blood pressure, and temperature and he's all yours."
But, to use an example from your flash, when it says, "He's all yours now he recovered faster than most Would giving his severe injuries." It should read, "He's all yours now. He recovered faster than most would, given his severe injuries." Grammar checker doesn't know that "giving" is not the right word. The correct word is "given."
Good luck, man. :)
i see where your getting at, and i did make improvements, i went through all the grammar issues and did the best i could with limited space. you gotta hit space when the screen turns black, that i can't seem to get rid of. but this is constructive criticism, i'm trying to encourage newgrounders to not copy one another, trying to actually do something nobil on this site so. that's why i chose dragonball z/ sailor moon cross over.
Don't submit unfinished things.
I know you're overly excited and just couldn't wait to submit something!! We all get like that sometimes. But unfinished things just fill your account with blams, or junk up Newgrounds, and that's not what Newgrounds is for.
I mean, think about it: who wants to see half of a Sonic fight, y'know?
...actually, who wants to see a whole Sonic fight. :\
But anyway, please don't submit bits and pieces. It even says so on the Newgrounds submit page:
"Your movie must not be a pointless "demo" or "preview" without any redeeming qualities. "
Incomplete items have no redeeming qualities.
At last! :D
Why can't all "first flashes" be like this?
Thank you!
I hate it when people submit a first flash, and it's crap. I always said I don't expect them to be perfect, but at least have them be finished, good, interesting, and of decent length. You did all of that with this one.
This is THE example of what a first flash submission should be like.
Thank you, man!
Dood.
Your drawings are good.
Your animation is good.
Your plot is good.
Your timing and sync is good.
Your choice of music is bad!
No matter how good the rest of it is, the wrong music will bring your score down. Rap will always lower your score. :\
Don't submit unfinished things.
It doesn't matter if you want to show your friends. Ask them over to see it. Don't submit unfinished things to Newgrounds. With a bit more work and time, you could've submitted the finished item, and we could ALL be impressed. Now, you've got people moanin at you because it's incomplete. And rightly so.
Now that this has passed, it'll forever be unfinished because you'll submit the finished item as a separate file, and probably never delete this one.
It's half finished, and will alway be unfinished, and that's not what Newgrounds is for. Don't get impatient like some little kid, and do half a job. Ask your mom to cook your dinner half way. How is it? Not as good as when it's completely done, right?
And before you say anything about me having no flashes, it's because I won't submit things til they're done. You don't see Happyharry or illwillpress submitting half finished things. Neither will I.
It's not bad, it's just not done. And it's so close!
Oh im sorry when i get off work i will check to see if my friends are home...what they are working? Well let me look at when they have off.....aww shit its all the days i work on well fuck....i know i will upload it on NG that way they can look at it when ever they want. Woo its not finished kinda stated that in the description and even said it was for meh friends not Exedor...But i guess some how he stumbled on my flash. Last time i check though Ng Slogan was "Everything, by Everyone" guess how my flash doesn't fall in the same realm as anything. And i should also inform my parents that im show not "anyone." I also wonder how am i being impatient by sharing my progress to my friends? I guess im just some 23 year old dude sitting in his room getting hard-ons ever time i make a new keyframe. Geez you know what....i should just grab my comp and show my friends ^__^....but first i have to take a hr bus and walk around for about 5hrs. Then i need to call of work so i get my plane tickets so i can go to Arkansas and Cali so i can show them. Seeing as most of my friends aren't tech savvy and such. I could post it on another site like Deviant but i like NG. Oh and your example with my mom? It not like that. It like my mom was making a cake for some friends and ask them to taste the batter. AND I come in taste it and say see shouldn't let her friends taste something that is not done. I mean the cake isn't for me and the batter isn't for me but i guess i could add my 2cent cuz it NG right and it for everyone.....cept me =[. Also when i woke up this more i swear i that i was happy Harry, or Hyuun, or Egorapter, or illwillpress AND OMFG for a second i though i was you. But i guess im not. And these people telling me i should "take pride in my work" and such. I am very proud of this the designs are better so far, the animation is smoother. But i think it because ppl are taking my flash with is the equivalent of a wire frame (not even 5% of the work i need to do.) and compare it to people who been working on flash like pros ( I <3 Yotam). You know what i like? I like when people tell me that they think it needs work or that think its promising. People can moan all the fuck they want...People on NG are looking for fun anyway so they like like to rip on others. But dude you inspired me. -Puts right hand on chest- for this day forth i will no longer submit incomplete flash on an OPEN NETWORK to show MY FRIENDS what i have been working on. Because i don't want my friends to give me SUPPORT on this project because FLASH ISN'T HARD. And i don't have ANY OTHER HOBBIES OR A JOB OR NEED TO BATH. And Thanks to your awesome review for an 1 hr a day worked on flash wire frame not meant for you. I am now motivated to go to all the other people flash that are about 76 frames repeated and tell them how much of my time and other people time they are wasting. I will also find any animator who ending a cartoon with the phase "to be continued" and punch them in the dick! I hope the guy that did "dot dot dot" make a parody this. I dare not attempt to match up to a pro. So thank you Exedor. I am a little more wise for you.... Thank you for reviewing my half ass wire frame undone flash animation made some random not mainstream guy who is doing this in his spare time and just trying to have fun and is wonder why people are pissed that they wasted their time watching flash movies that say that they are incomplete and complaining that they are incomplete (cuz that make sense) -gasp to take deep breath- that why i love the internet its filled with people that have nothing to really do (including me)
XD
Fine. Make the movie.
But don't submit bits and pieces of unfinished items.
This looked good, but it's just a fragment of something. Finish the movie and it'll be great, but this is way too small.
Not bad, but needs more.
It's not bad. It would be better if you had 3 jokes in an episode. That would make it more like a snack, whereas now it's just a bite. :)
Also, um, I couldn't quite understand what she said. "...I don't something anymore." So that kinda deflated the joke. :\
Still good, though. :)
I love your suggestions Exedor. I will keep them in mind for future episodes.
It's a torch.
It's a nice torch. But it's still just a torch. :\
I'm storyboarding a short right now with lots of flamy bits and smoke. Stay tuned.
Nice music.
Who knew MLP could be relaxing and spa-like?
What's the music?
To Aru Kagaku no Railgun OST 21
Age 51, Male
Umbrella Corp
Colorado Springs CO
Joined on 1/15/05
Squelch Step Album Promo 
Invasion of nemisis Ep1 
shadic and mecha sonic pr 
Fierce Fight 
Strange Clouds 
Neonic Arena (Under Const 
Air IV 
Demanding Patience Ep1 
Torch Exercise 
MLP: Rarity bath time 
